Watching Angry…

I can’t help but saying a few choice words about the movie I watched last night.  Weekly, a friend and I watch what we would consider a bad movie.  Some we have seen, some we take a chance on.  This one, we hit pay dirt.

Drive Angry (2011)

This, put simply, is a very very…very bad movie.  This is a multi-million dollar movie, and it succeeds in one place, being awful, and confusing!

First of all, what happened to Nicolas Cage?  Remember Raising Arizona?  Remember Leaving Las Vegas?  Hell, remember Con Air or Face Off?  Yea, he was pretty good.  He was a cool actor way back when.  What happened?

(I actually liked him a lot in Kick Ass.  I know he can still do it)

It’s like he has given up completely.  He barely tries to act, let alone make us feel like he cares.

I guess he is laughing all the way to the bank.

The plot of this movie is so convoluted and silly, it makes you laugh out loud with exasperation.  In brief, it is about a man (Nic Cage) trying to save a baby from a bunch of Satan worshipers.  Sounds simple enough, but…

There is another man called the Accountant.  He has super powers.  He has extra speed and strength and talks weird.  Ok, got it.  Nicolas Cage’s character also has special powers, somewhat.  At one point, he is shot pointy blank in the eye.  He later awakens with a swollen bloody eye and starts kickin’ ass again.  Ok, so what is he?

I have no idea.  Every Time they are about to explain some of these mysteries, they shrug it off and move on.  He also gets shot in the stomach, which they never address again.  From what I can gather, he was a man who went to hell?…then escaped to save the baby, which is his grand-daughter.  Alrighty.

It felt, as my friend pointed out so succinctly, like it was written by a high school student.  It wasn’t.  It was written and produced by “intelligent” adults.

Ha!  There is a scene where there is a bunch of henchmen gunning for Nic right after he got shot.  He has the most ludicrous wig I have ever seen.  I immediately thought, oh he is going to get scalped or hurt in some way on top of his head.  Nope, it’s just a man with one of the worst wigs in existence.  This is a Hollywood movie!  There is no excuse.  I think the actor brought his own wig and walked on set…for no reason.

Whoa

The one positive is the female lead, Amber Heard.  Whoa mama she is hot.  Though her character isn’t anything special.  She is purely there to make the men sit up and watch.  She is a waitress who is engaged to an ugly red neck bald dude.  Why Hollywood, why?  A chick that how would never be with a guy like that.  Before you say, Stop being so shallow, her fiance is an ass and beats her up a bit.

At least have some realism!  I girl that hot wouldn’t have anything to do with such a person.  Even if she is supposed to be white trash.

Final Thoughts:

I recommend this movie for the exact purpose that my friend and I went into it for, to make fun of it.  Most movies, even horribly bad ones, will have some moments of okayness.  We never stopped once ripping into.  I suppose because of that, I liked this movie.  It gave us an hour and a half of entertainment.  Course they didn’t intend the it would be at it’s expense, but hey, who cares?  We were entertained.

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